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Monthly Archives: May 2008

Preston, I heard yo mama has a leather wig with suede sideburns!

Nate, yo mama is so stupid, she attempted suicide by jumping out the basement window!

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15. Rocky IV (1985) – “I must break you.”

14. Rudy (1993) – “You’re five-foot nothin’, 100-and-nothin’, and you have nearly a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football team in the land for two years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don’t have to prove nothin’ to nobody but yourself.”

13. Major League (1989) – (13a) – Willie: “Willie Mays Hayes here. I hit like Mayes, and I run like Hayes.” – Coach: “You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.” – (13b) – “Juuuuust a bit outside.” – (13c) – “Up your butt, Jobu.”

12. Remember the Titans (2000) – “We will be perfect in every aspect. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You make a fumble, I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile … Perfection!”

13. Sandlot (1993) – “You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.”

12. Jerry Maguire (1996) – (12a) “I love black people!!” – (12b) – “You had me at ‘Hello’.” – (12c) – “Show me the money!!”

11. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) – “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”

10. Seabiscuit (2003) – “The horse is too small, the jockey too big, the trainer too old and I’m too dumb to know the difference.”

9. Happy Gilmore (1996) – “The price is wrong, Bitch!”

8. The Natural (1984) – “When I walked down the street, people would’ve looked and they would’ve said ‘There goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.’”

7. Hoosiers (1986) – “If you give everything you have, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we’re gonna be winners.”

6. Bull Durham (1988) – (6a) “I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” – (6b) – “Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some groundballs. It’s more democratic.”

5. The Karate Kid (1984) – (5a) – “Sweep the leg.” – (5b) – “Wax on; Wax off.”

4. Rocky (1976) – (4a) “You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!” – (4b) – “Yo, Adrian!”

3. A League of Their Own (1992) – “There’s no crying in baseball!”

2. Field of Dreams (1989) – (2a) – “If you build it, he will come.” – (2b) – John: “Is this heaven?” – Ray: “No, it’s Iowa.”

1. Caddyshack (1980) – (1a) – “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, OK? All right.” – (1b) – “You’ll get nothing and like it.” – (1c) – “This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ahhh, Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. Here, I’ve got pounds of this.” – (1d) – “This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta nowhere, a former greenskeeper, now – about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mira….. It’s in the hole!”

Can you guys think of any more?

Nate looks like the stuntman for someone who got that ass beat in Wii baseball!

Preston looks like the stuntman for someone who got that ass beat in Wii baseball!

Rader looks like the stuntman for someone who will get that ass beat in Wii baseball if he comes into town!

Billy looks like the stuntman for Andy Dick!