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 Stanley Pringle, point guard for Penn State, can’t seem to keep it in his pants.  Mr. Pringle has been formally charged with public lewdness and disorderly conduct after he was caught masturbating in Pattee Library on PSU’s campus.  Apparently, Pringle stood behind a book case and attempted to conversate with a coed while beating his meat.  That’s not all…there was another incident where a man with fitting the same description followed a woman back to her dorm and wacked willie in the stairwell. 

The best part of this story is Pringle’s inability to figure out who he is…I mean Penn St. isn’t exactly a basketball powerhouse, but if your a D-1 baller you should have bitches lining up for your services.  Robert DeMartinin, CEO of Pringle’s, was not available for comment.



    • Chotch
    • Posted April 3, 2008 at 1:01 pm
    • Permalink

    Why is this a mystery, everyone knows it’s Mikey.

    • Nate Dogg
    • Posted April 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa! This time next year we’ll here the same story but out of Bradley University. The headline will be something like this. ” Young male Bradley student caught masterbating in the ticket office with a bottle of jergens in his gun holster”

    • jswol54
    • Posted April 3, 2008 at 4:49 pm
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    I can see it now…

    Numerous female students have spoken out about the where abouts of their lotion. Katrina Medoff, a junior from DeKalb had this to say…”I like left for a frat party, came home and there was this guy playing with himself in the corner of my room while moaning out sports stats…or something. It was like, totally creepy…then he took my lotion and ran off while yelling something about I like totally called my mom to tell her that my designer lotion was stolen!”

    However, it’s not only women this creep has frightened. Bubba Taylor, a senior from Peoria added this…”I been going to this motha fuckin’ school for four motha fuckin’ years and I ain’t never seen no shit like this. If I catch the fool that’s stealing my cocoa butter, that fool will get blasted on! I come home from motha fuckin’ class to freshen up my skin and I find a motha fuckin’ bumper sticker instead of my motha fuckin’ cocoa butter. I’ll tell you motha fuckas what’s up…I’m funna murder that motha fucka if I find him cause I’m tired of going to Wal motha fucken Greens every other day!”

    • jswol54
    • Posted April 3, 2008 at 6:47 pm
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    Paul Poindexter had this to say about the now infamous lotion crusader…”I usually keep a small bottle of lotion with aloe in my pocket protector in case of an emergency. My mommy always taught me to keep some because I get a rash if I’m out in the sun for more than five minutes. Well I got beat up by the school bullies yesterday. My glasses fell off and I couldn’t see a thing. When I finally found them I noticed my pocked protector fell out of my shirt and my lotion was gone. But there was a note saying ‘I’d been had by’ I had a rash all over my arms and face so I started crying and called my mommy. She came right away with my teddy bear and microscope. I felt better after that but I’m still freaking mad! I mean, who steals lotion? I promise he’s not invited to any of our raging parties at Kappa Nerda ever again! And let me tell you, there were three girls at our last soiree…a record. We’ll show him not to mess with us!”

    • Billy-Ho
    • Posted April 6, 2008 at 8:35 pm
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    Thats priceless.

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