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Monthly Archives: April 2008

You be the judge!

Hulk Hogan rubs Brooke\'s crack

OK, so you’ve heard that Shawn Kemp has approximately 25 illegitimate children, right?  That’s simply old news that belongs in the same category as “Bill Gates has more money than God!”

Well it seems like Kemp is not alone on the bastard kids front.  The Buffalo Bills selected OT Demetrius Bell out of Northwestern State in the 7th round of the NFL draft on Sunday.  Who the fuck is Demetrius Bell?  He’s just another 7th rounder who usually wouldn’t garner too much attention because his chances of actually making the team are slim to none.  However, when you’re the son of an NBA Hall of Famer, you might get a glimpe of the spotlight.  And he did…but daddy Karl could care less.  The two didn’t meet for the first time until Bell was 18 and Malone told him “It’s too late for me to be your father, and you’ll earn your money on your own.”

One thing is clear, when Kemp and Malone are out pursuing vulnerable women to father their kids, neither one of them is going to receive a call from the “Father Of The Year” committee!

 

Newly acquired safety Kalvin Pearson may never actually suit up for the Lions.  Why?  Because this fool decided to choke out his pregnant girlfriend.  Pearson had been formally charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman and domestic battery by strangulation.  Police also captured numerous photos of the womans neck, which was bruised up and red. 

Most teams would simply cut this guy and move on.  But not the Lions.  Why?  Becasue Matt Millen is in charge!  The kicker?  Millen is on record saying that Pearson was signed because of his great character.  Well he is a character…in the movie that will follow “The Rae Carruth Story!”

Nate Dogg endured a whole day of me asking the world who the fuck Earl Bennett was on Sunday…so I asked some Vandy guys on Rivals what I can expect of him.  What I found out was that he’s one bad mother fucker and he’s quickly become my favorite player out of the Bears draftees…so you’ll be hearing a lot of “My Name Is Earl” references come fall!  Here’s what a well informed Vandy fan had to say…

He’s a baller, the best comparison I can make is Marvin Harrison. He runs great routes, catches everything, goes across the middle without fear, and has a calm demeanor. Came out of a bad part of Birmingham and walked a straight line throughout HS and college, just a great kid in addition to being one of the best receivers to play in the SEC in a while. After Cutler graduated there was a question about whether or not we’d be able to get him the ball enough, well he followed up his 79 catch and 876 yard frosh campaign with an 82 catch and 1,146 yard season. He broke the SEC freshman receptions record (held by Jabar Gaffney) and as a sophomore became the first SEC receiver to have back to back seasons with 75+ receptions. He injured his shoulder in the Bama game this past season and played through it to tally another 75 receptions. Our QB play this past season was atrocious (to put it lightly) so 75 catches seems like a miracle under those circumstances.

Watching he and Cutler in 05 was something I’ll treasure forever. JC threw to Earl at VU’s pro day which shows how much those guys respect one another.

Here are the stats from the last four games of his freshman year (Cutler’s senior year)…..

– @ USC: 16 catches for 204 yards with a TD
– @ Florida: 6 catches for 75 yards and 2 TDs
– vs UK: 13 catches for 99 yards and 5 TDs
– @ UT: 14 catches for 167 yards and the GW TD catch

 

Mario Manningham admitted lied about smoking cock marijuana last month at the Zoo Bar NFL Combine.  No big deal, except for the fact that his indiscretions combined with his excellent pathetic 40 times probably cost him millions.  While he once looked like a no-brainer to go in the first round, Mr. Smoke-a-lot was finally put out of his misery when the NY Giants selected him in the 3rd round.  It probably won’t even matter to him because he’s too stupid to figure much out anyways…as he scored a big ol’e 6(out of 50) on his Wonderlic test.  If you don’t know how easy one of these tests are, please refer to the Wonderlic post I made last Friday and take the test for yourself.  You will find some real brain busters on there like:6. The ninth month of the year is???

http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/04/25/mario-checks-into-the-motel-6/

In other draft news, Nate is thrilled with the Ravens selection of Tommy Zbikowski as he can now wear his purple sundress turtleneck!

1.  Arizonba D-Bags(18-7)

2. Chicago Cubs(16-9)

3.  Anahiem Angels(16-10)

4.  Boston Red Sox(15-12)

5.  Florida Marlins(15-10)

————————————————————

29.  Detoilet Tigers(11-15)

Detroit Lions

Questionable Picks – All of them!!!

Cincinnati Bungles

Questionable Picks – Andre Cladwell, WR, Florida – Anthony Collins, OT, Kansas

Winners – Carolina Panthers

Key Additions – Jonathon Stewart, RB, Oregon – Jeff Otah, OT, Pittsburgh

Kansas City Chiefs

Key Additions – Glenn Dorsy – DT, LSU – Brandon Albert, G, Virginia

Atlanta Falcons

Key Additions – Matt Ryan, QB, Backup College – Sam Baker, OT, USC

Any other winners you guys can think of?

 

It’s a little slice of heaven where you can walk down the street with an AK-47 and shoot anything that moves.  Bear in mnd however that it’s very risky…but so is banging a chick from Kalamazoo.  1 out of every 4 ho’s running around has an STD…so double bag it boys!

That is all!