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Monthly Archives: March 2008

Mark Grace was famous for this during his days with the Cubs…

1.   Slump buster

Baseball players believe that by having sex with an unattractive female, they can end their slump. Therfore a slump buster is the unattractive female that they have sex with, in hopes of busting their slump.

Mark Grace told Rick Sutcliffe that the reason why he’s been hitting so well lately, is because he hooked up with a lot of slump busters when he was in a slump.

 

I reintroduce to you….SMF!  One rule though, any repeats results in taking a shot…which means I might be repeating a lot of these because I’m getting crunk tonight!

Nate looks like the stuntman for a wannabe Joe Negri!

Billy looks like the stuntman for a cross dressing VanillaI ce!

 Who ya got?  Kate Beckinsale or Cheryl Tweedy?

If you guys have never read Gilbert’s blog, I suggest that you do.  Arenas is never at a struggle for words…or ridiculous thoughts!  Here’s an excerpt from his latest entry after he found out doctors wouldn’t clear him to play against the Pistons on Sunday.

It was just me and my car … speeding — something that I shouldn’t be doing.

Then I got that thought that I know everybody gets once in a while, I was like, “You know, what if I just ran my car into this pole right here?”

I don’t know why I thought that, but I kept going with it.

“Then I can jump off the road into this lake and just swim … or drown. Whichever one comes first.”

It was really devastating. I was thinking, “Mannn, again?! But I listened to Young Jeezy’s verse in “They Know” to get me past those bad thoughts … plus, I’m sane. I’m a sane person, I wouldn’t do that to myself.

Nobody has ever accused Arenas of being normal.(i.e. he bought sharks to put in his pool with his fist NBA paycheck), but this is borderline insane.  Expressing (albeit brief, and possibly exaggerated) thoughts of suicide is either a cry for help, or Gilbert’s wacky way of telling us just how upset he was about not being able to play that night. Given his history with quirky comments though, it’s probably just the latter.

Not really, but it appears as though the “Magician” will bring his act to the Emrald City.  Steven Cohen of World Soccer Daily has speculated that Henry is in “advanced negotiations” with the the Seattle MLS squad and he could arrive prior to their inaugural season in 2009.  Cohen wouldn’t reveal his sources, but he did state that his source “is a very good authority.”  Whatever that means! 

Thierry Henry has talked about how much he loves America in the past and has hinted that he would retire here after his soccer playing days were over.  Well, it looks as though billionaire Paul Allen might be able to lure the greatest player in the world a little sooner than expected.  Billy Ho, we might have to hit up some Chicago Fire games next year!

Female Olympic cyclist Tammy Thomas is the first athlete to face a criminal trial on charges related to the BALCO investigation, and testimony in her perjury trial reveals odd side effects of her alleged steroid use.  

Lance Williams of the San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Thomas seemed to be in the midst of shaving her face when an Olympic drug tester paid her an unannounced visit. …
Prosecutors have called Thomas a “hard-core” steroid user who underwent a physical transformation while using banned drugs. On Monday, a Colorado endocrinologist who examined Thomas in 2000 said the cyclist’s use of the steroid depo-testosterone had caused “severe virilization.” Thomas had a deep voice, full beard, chest hair and even signs of male pattern baldness, Dr. Margaret Weirman testified.

When I first read this, I thought to myself, how the hell could someone basically transform their image to these proportions and get away with it for so long?  I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’m pretty sure I’d be able to tell if a woman changed into a dude!  I bet this chick has more facial hair than Billy Ho….

 

Paris Hilton has been in South Africa with her boyfriend, Benji Madden, who is there for a benefit concert.  During her trip, Paris has visited missions and hosted numerous parties.  The socialite had this to say about her feelings on the Motherland.

“I love Africa in general – South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”

Nate, weren’t you planning a trip to West Africa?

The Tigers have been in discussions with Miguel Cabrera’s agent since they acquired him in a trade with the Florida Marlins.  Both sides wanted a long term deal in place before the season started.  Well the deal got done over the weekend and it is historic.  Not only is the 8 year 153.3 million the largest contract in Tiger’s history, it’s also the fouth largest in MLB history. 

This is a good move by Mike Illich and company because it locks up one of the brightest young stars in the game.  Cabrera is only 24 and hasn’t even peaked yet.  While his power numbers might take a hit(thank Comerica Park for being so fucking big), his OBP and clutch hitting will still be there.  It must be nice to have an owner that will do everything in his power to win.  The season is only a week away boys…here’s to baseball season!

Amy Winehouse

The last thing the world needs is for this creature to reproduce…even Nate wouldn’t beat these cheeks!

We played the Drunk Olympics @ Evan’s this past Saturday with the Loy Norrix boys going up against the PC fellers.   The teams were Jevin and I versus Fish and Evans. We started out with darts and the boys from PC won the first match.  However, they needed a miraculous comeback to earn the victory.  The second game was a different story as the LN boys closed it out in quick fashion.  Next, we moved on to Catch Phrase where the LN boys were up in the scoring department 15-7 before the PC boys forfeited.  We then split the beer pong matches, 1-1.  all in all, it was a good day of drinking, good friends, and good fun.